Jealously is a curse
by stevieLUVSAlex
Summary: Lorelai finds out soemthing that makes the green-eyed monster surface. Will she finally tell Luke how she REALLY feels? L&L shipping ALL the way. Set in Season 3
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: hello… it's been a while since I posted anything, and I didn't think it would be GG, but thanks to my awesome friend Tony, who gave me an idea or two in which I couldn't pass up, I present you a new story… hope you like it! =D**_

Lorelai had been so busy at the Inn that she had missed her morning cup of coffee, and she didn't feel like she was functioning all that well without it. Finally, when she noticed there was no one else to serve at the counter, she had put Michelle in charge and slipped out, with one thing on her mind – coffee at Luke's.

It took her ten minutes to get there. It would have taken quicker if she wasn't so weak from the lack of caffeine.

She dragged her feet across the tiled floor of the diner, and up to the counter. She dramatically slumped down in the chair and dropped her head on her hands. "I need coffee…" she groaned. "I-I ca- can't work… I can't function without… without it."

Luke rolled his eyes.

"Where were you this morning?" he asked obediently pouring out a cup of coffee in one of those plastic-go cups.

Lorelai moaned.

"Here…" he said pushing the cup across the counter to her.

She leisurely lifted her head as if it took effort, and she reached out her hand to grasp it, before taking it to her lips, and drawing the liquid into her mouth. She instantly made sounds that sounded like something that should be reserved for the bedroom. "Oh God…" she moaned. "This is SOOOOOOOOO good."

Luke concealed a smile.

"You missed your Danish," Luke stated.

"Today isn't Danish day," she said lifting her head up, seemingly perkier since her mouthful of caffeine.

Luke shrugged. "You missed your coffee."

"I know," she said. "I had an emergency at the Inn. Michelle was rambling on about paw-paw and eating shoes, and…" she shook her head trying to wipe the memory from her mind. Where Michelle was concerned, there was always an emergency, and it usually included his dogs.

"Feel better now?" he asked gesturing to her cup.

"Yes. If I had the energy, I would kiss you."

Luke raised his eyebrows.

As if by cue, his girlfriend, Alley came down from his upstairs apartment, dressed in a pants suit. Alley was a receptionist for one of the law firms in Stars Hollow. She and Luke had been dating for six weeks now. Lorelai was waiting for the day when he admitted that he was unhappy and wanted out. Luke never kept a girlfriend long, he didn't know the concept of dating too well, and usually the women gave up on him, thinking he'd never get it. Luke wasn't your average guy, to say the least.

"Goodmorning, Lukey," she smiled kissing his cheek.

He blushed with obvious embarrassment. He had never been easy going with displays of public affection. He turned his head away, avoiding eye contact with Lorelai, as if he expected her to make some sort of remark.

"Oh, hello Lorelai," Alley said as if she had just acknowledged her presence. "I didn't see you there."

"Yeah, well I'm easy to miss," she replied forcing a smile.

Luke scoffed.

Lorelai didn't particularly like Alley. She had no real reason why, she just didn't, but for the sake of her friendship with Luke, she was friendly. Lorelai stood from the stool, gripping her cup in her hands. "Thanks," she said to Luke. "You're my hero in an apron."

"Yeah," he replied.

"I'll see you later," she called over her shoulder.

"Have you told her yet?" Lorelai heard Alley ask. She slowed down, staining to overhear the conversation.

"Not yet," he said. "I didn't get the chance."

"You have to tell her."

"I will," he said. "Later."

Lorelai frowned as she closed the diner door behind her, wondering what Luke would have to tell her. She'd make sure she made a stop on the way home.

_**Ooooh, do I love cliff-hangers. =D**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thanks for the response guys. I hope you enjoy this chapter… =D**_

Lorelai was still thinking about Luke when she walked into the Inn kitchen where Sookie was stirring a large cooking pot. She looked up and grinned widely at her friend. "You have to try this!" Sookie announced shoving a spoonful of apricot jam in her mouth. The taste seemed to melt in her mouth, and Lorelai let out in involuntary moan of pleasure.

"Sookie, that is… wow," she sighed.

"I know." Sookie stated. "I've been working on it all morning. It's perfect."

A moment later Lorelai's focus was back with Luke. It seemed unusual that he would have a hard time talking to her about something – anything. Luke had never had a problem expression his opinion, in his signature grumpy kind of way. Why would he have trouble expressing himself now? It made Lorelai nervous, as she tried to think of the possibilities.

He was moving away… he was selling the diner… he was getting married… she smiled, that one was laughable… he was dying… at the mere thought of that her heart skipped a beat, and she felt physically ill. Could that be it? Could he be dying and she didn't know? No, she reasoned rationally, Alley had been far too calm for that to be the possibility.

"Lorelai…" Sookie called.

Lorelai got the feeling it wasn't the first time she was trying to get her friend's attention.

"Sorry," she shook her head, banishing the thought, and she looked across at Sookie, her hand still gripping the cup of coffee she'd gotten at Luke's, except now it was empty. Of course, there was always a pot of coffee at the Inn, but nothing tasted like Luke's coffee. What would she do if he did decide to close up the diner and move away? Where would she get her perfect cup of coffee?

"Is everything alright? You are totally off in another world," Sookie noted.

"Yeah, sorry… Sookie, can I ask you something?"

"Is this the kind of something I should be sitting down for?" she smiled, showing her cute dimples. Sookie was a beautiful woman, despite her weight, and when she smiled, she seemingly lit up the room.

"No," Lorelai said seriously, having no sense of humor this morning.

"It sounds serious," Sookie stopped stirring the pot and gave Lorelai all of her attention.

"Luke is keeping something from me," she stated.

"How do you know that?"

"I overheard Alley telling him he needed to tell me something, when I walked out of the diner this morning. For the life of me, I can't figure out what it is," she said.

Sookie beamed. "Maybe he's getting married."

Lorelai shook her head. "It's Luke. I don't see him as being the marrying kind. Alley isn't actually, well, his type."

"And who is his type?" Sookie challenged. For as long as Lorelai had known Sookie, she had always believed that Luke was secretly in love with Lorelai. Granted, he had more patience with her, than anyone else in Stars Hollow, but Lorelai still wasn't convinced that was love.

"I don't know," she said uncomfortably.

"You could be his type," she smiled.

"Sookie… let's not do this," she warned. "I don't know what it could be."

"Maybe he really is getting married," she pressed.

"Hardly," she scoffed. "They've only been dating six weeks. Luke takes his time. It took him years to re-paint the diner, I hardly see him jumping into marriage. No, it's something else, something serious… because he didn't just come out and tell me."

"Maybe he's selling the diner?" she suggested.

"Yeah, I did consider that," Lorelai said leaning against the bench, and picking at the berries in the bowl. "Anyway, I'm gonna drop by the diner after work, and find out what it is…"

"Good idea."

"I should get back to work."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Careful, Michelle is a bad mood. Paw-paw ate his good shoes."

The two of them exchanged smiles. Michelle was a funny one.

Lorelai exited the kitchen to return to the front desk. She felt somewhat re-energized after her coffee, but now she had Luke's "secret" weighing on her mind. It would be good when she finally found out what it was.

_**Anyone want to take a guess at what it is? NOT you Tony! =D**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Here I present the next chapter… hope it's to your liking! =D**_

_**What is the secret… read on to find out!**_

Lorelai wouldn't admit it, but she was slightly nervous when she walked into the diner that evening after work, determined to find out what it was that Luke was keeping from her. As she pushed open the door, she acknowledged the rush of people, and she spotted Luke instantly, juggling plates and yelling at Caesar to hurry up with the order.

It didn't seem like the right time to interrupt.

Lorelai turned to walk back out, prepared to leave her coffee as well, when Luke called her back.

"Lorelai," he said from the counter.

She snapped her head up and met his eyes across the diner.

"I need to talk to you," he said. "Will you wait around a minute?"

Lorelai nodded. "Sounds ominous," she smiled climbing onto the stool at the counter.

"I'll be with you in a minute," he promised rushing off to deliver a plate of food to a customer by the window.

Lorelai sat patiently, and when Caesar approached the counter from the kitchen, she asked for a coffee, which he poured for her. Quietly, she sat sipping on the mug, her eyes following Luke to each customer he served until he finally stopped, looking exhausted, and leaned his body against the counter.

"You look beat," she noted.

"I am," he sighed. "I have to talk to you about something."

"You said that," she smiled, enjoying the nervousness in his body language. It was nice to see him venerable for a change. It made her relax more.

"Alley and I, we…"

"You're moving away!" she stated.

Luke frowned. "No, we're not moving away," he denied.

"You're closing the diner!"

"No, we're not- are you telling the story or am I?" he barked, looking annoyed.

Lorelai raised her hands in defense. "Sorry. Go ahead, I'm listening…"

He took a breath. "We're getting married."

Lorelai laughed. "Sure, you are."

Luke wasn't smiling.

"We are."

It took a moment for the words to fall, and the meaning to make sense in her head. "Wha- what? Why?"

"That's usually how a relationship progresses when you care about someone," he said with sarcasm.

"Yes, for normal people."

"Meaning, you're Luke!"

"Thanks for the memo!"

"I mean," her face showed shock, and her words seemed to come out all mumbled and incoherent as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Luke marrying… no, it didn't seem right. "You're _Luke_, you don't get married. You hate relationships. It's been six weeks, you're supposed to break up, you're supposed to realize…"

"Realize what?" he asked when her trailed off.

"I… I just- how-… you've been dating six weeks. _**Six weeks**_," her voice came out all squeaky.

"I know that," he snapped. "It's _my_ relationship!"

"How can you be getting married, you don't get married."

"Well I am now."

"But…" she couldn't seem to come up with a response. Leaving her coffee, unfinished, she stood from the stool and shook her head. "I have to go."

"Lorelai!" he insisted. "What do you-?"

"I have things to do! I got to go back to the Inn and-"

"It's after hours," he reminded her.

"Emergency," she mumbled.

"Lorelai, talk to me, what are you thinking!"

"I'm… I- don't… I…" she shook her head again. "I have to go!"

She turned then and walked out of the diner.

She stumbled all the way outside, barely acknowledging those she passed, who mumbled a greeting as she hurried along the sidewalk, to her car. She climbed into the driver's seat and turned the engine over, and pulling out of the parking space. she drove home, going through several red lights and barely seeing the other cars on the road, as her mind drifted to the image in her head of Luke standing at the altar with Alley as his bride.

She got an ill feeling in the pit of her stomach.

_**Sorry about the short chapters, I have a short attention span, but I do upload quicker, and reviews help that along too. =D **_

_**Any constructive criticism is welcome too!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: This is a little sad… but it was needed… hope you don't kill me!**_

Rory called out to her mother, demanding she hurry up, or they were going to miss the wedding.

Lorelai stood in front of the full-length mirror, making sure her black dress was hugging all the right places. Her hair was swept up in a styled bun, with loose strands falling by her face. The wedding had approached quickly, far too quickly for Lorelai's liking. It seemed everything had been rushed, as if the two of them were kids in high school who had fallen pregnant and didn't want to be a scandal.

"Mom… come on, they're gonna start without us!"

"So what," she mumbled under her breath. She didn't want to go at all. Lorelai never thought that watching Luke marry someone would be such a hassle. Dressing formally, having to close the Inn for the big event. And she didn't like Alley.

"MOM!" Rory's voice boomed from the bottom of the stairs.

Lorelai checked herself once more in the mirror, and noticed that she had tears streaming down her face. She hadn't realized she'd been crying. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, and practiced a smile.

"Mom, are you okay?" Rory asked gently appearing in the doorway.

Lorelai turned her head, surprised to see her daughter. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go!"

Rory looked oddly at her mother as they made their way to the church. Luke being married in a church, again, was surprising. Lorelai wasn't even sure if he believed in God, but Alley had insisted upon it and what Alley wanted – Alley got.

Luke was turning into a push-over, another surprise that Lorelai never saw coming.

The church was crowded when she walked in, dragging behind Rory.

Rory sat down in the nearest available seat, not wanting to draw attention to herself. Lorelai, who didn't want to be there anyway, took a seat beside her, her hands in her lap, studying them as if they held the secrets of the universe.

Finally, the familiar tune of the wedding march started playing from the piano.

Lorelai finally looked up, her eyes settling on Luke Danes dressed in a black suit and tie, looking more handsome than she had ever seen him. It was a far cry from the druggy shirts and backwards baseball cap he wore day in day out. She had never seen him in anything else, before now, and she felt her heart give a little tug.

His eyes shifted to hers, and for a moment they locked, as if he was trying to tell her something, and then his focus shifted to the woman he was about to marry, who was dressed in an elegant white wedding gown, with a long train.

Lorelai had to force herself to smile, as they exchanged vows.

Rory reached out and took her mother's hand and it was only then, did she realize that the tears had found their way down her face; she discreetly wiped them away and shot her daughter a weak smile. "It was nice," she lied.

"Yeah," was all Rory could say.

As the crowd broke into applause as they finally kissed as a married couple, Lorelai felt physically ill, and as she hid her face from the crowd, she couldn't stop the tears.

Luke approached her as he and his new wife walked down the aisle. "Lorelai, are you crying?" he asked with a look of surprise.

"These are tears of happiness," she lied giving him her largest smile. "It was beautiful, Luke, and you looked very handsome," she said adjusting his tie.

"Thanks," he blushed. "Gotta go… see you in a few weeks, when we get back from our fishing trip."

"Fishing trip?" she laughed.

"She got to pick everything else," he winked.

Lorelai laughed watching him walk away. Some things never change.

_**Okay, I admit that was a LOT angst-y… next chapter will be better… =D**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Yes Tony, you were correct. How could I possible make Luke marry her so quickly, without at least the chance that Lorelai would tell him what she thought of that idea… it's WAY too fast, right? =D**_

Lorelai didn't need to go to her daughter to analyze her dream, she knew exactly what it meant, and she wasn't willing to share her revelation with anyone, let alone Rory, who would completely blow it out of proportion.

Her head was in a funny place, metaphorically speaking, when she went into work the next morning.

Sookie picked up on it instantly. "Hey… are you alright?"

"Yeah," she answered vaguely. "I had a weird dream." The words were out of her mouth before she had the control to stop them.

"Oh, was it about Luke?"

Lorelai blushed. "How did you…"

"Tell me!" Sookie grinned jumping up and down on the spot, the way she did when she got excited about something.

"He married Alley," she stated matter-of-factly.

"And?"

"And that's it. He got married."

Sookie's smile vanished. "How did that make you feel?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"Come on?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I don't like it. It's too soon. I don't trust her. I think she's up to something…"

"Lorelai…" Sookie grinned. "Are you sure this is about Alley, and not about how you feel about Luke."

"I don't feel anything for Luke," she denied. "He's the guy who serves my coffee, he's… Luke!"

"Luke who is getting married," she reminded him.

The way the words rolled off Sookie's tongue made Lorelai feel sick. It wasn't how she saw it. It wasn't how Lorelai imagined the future. He was Luke, he was the man in the diner who pined after her while she fleeted from relationship to relationship, and he waited. Lorelai knew it sounded bad. She knew that if someone understood the thoughts in her head, they would more or less think she was border-lining insane, and they wouldn't be far from wrong. At the moment, Lorelai felt like her head was going to explode. All she knew was that she didn't want Luke to marry Alley, she couldn't explain anything else.

"You should talk to him," her friend suggested.

"And say what?" Lorelai challenged.

"Tell him you want to be with him!"

Lorelai scoffed. "I don't want to be with him," she denied.

"Yeah, right," Sookie laughed aloud.

"I don't!"

"Lorelai, come on, be honest…"

"I am being honest. I have to check the desk," she said exiting the kitchen. She was done having that conversation with Sookie. She was wrong, wasn't she?

_**I know this is a bit different to the real Lorelai and she's not quite as bubbly as she usually is, but I think considering the topic. I would think she isn't herself... so any tips or requests for anything, feel free to add… I'm open to anything! =D**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: I do thank you for those who left me reviews. I appreciate that. I was going to give up this story, but as long as I know one or two are following it, it's all I need. =D I am going to disappear for the w/end, so no uploads. I am going to a Jehovah's Witness two-day assembly, which I am VERY excited about. I love it… the people… the talks… *sighs* so I hope you all have a wonderful w/end and I'll speak with you soon =D **_

Luke pushed the mug of coffee across the counter to Lorelai's waiting hand.

"Mmm," she moaned smelling the sweet scent of her weakness. She took a sip. "No one makes coffee like you do," she stated.

Luke said nothing.

"So… anything new in your life?" she asked awkwardly. It was hard for Lorelai to make conversation with him now she didn't know what to say to him. It seemed like the moment he told he was getting married, she could no longer treat him the way she did before. Everything was different.

"Besides getting married," he said. "No."

Why did he have to sound so casual about it?

Lorelai sipped at her coffee again.

"I have something for you," he announced.

Lorelai snapped her head up and smiled. "For me?"

Luke cleared his throat and reached under the counter to retrieve an envelope. "It's a… well, the- the wedding invitation."

"Oh," Lorelai's stomach took the express elevator to the basement. She gripped the envelope in her hands, but she made no move to open it. "So…" she couldn't seem to find the right words to say. "When- when's the date?"

"Six weeks!" he stated turning his back on her as he organized the bits and pieces that needed attending to. He couldn't seem to look her in the eye, which was fine with her, because at the moment she didn't even want to look at him.

The words hung in the air like a bad odor.

"That's soon, isn't it?" she said finally finding something to say.

Luke shrugged his back still to her. "Alley thinks we can have everything organized by then," he said vaguely.

"What about you?" she pressed.

He turned to look at her. "What about me?"

"Don't you get a say in this?"

"I had my say," he said.

"And what was that?"

"I don't care. It doesn't matter to me, if she wants to get married in six weeks or six years. It doesn't matter," he explained.

"Why doesn't it matter?"

"Lorelai, why are you hounding me with questions? What does it matter to you, you got the invitation… if you don't want to go then don't come," he said coldly.

The words hit her hard. Her mouth formed an 'O' shape before she closed her mouth, and opened it again to speak to him. "Is this your way of saying you don't want me to come?" she asked bluntly.

"I gave you the invite, didn't I?"

"Did you?" she questioned. "We weren't even talking about whether or not I was coming, we were discussing your opinion on how quickly you're getting married, and you come right out and say if I don't want to go, I don't have to."

"You don't have to," he repeated.

This was so unlike Luke to be so cruel. There had to be more to it than that, Lorelai reasoned, he didn't act like a jerk for no reason. Luke was usually so good to her. Then another thought occurred to her. "Is Alley pregnant?"

Luke looked up and stared at Lorelai as if she had suddenly grown two heads. "What?"

"Is that why you're marrying her so fast, is she pregnant?"

He shook his head. "Not to my knowledge."

"So why?"

"Because I love her," he stated.

Lorelai felt a sharp pain in her chest, and she winced. "Okay," she accepted. If that was it, if that was him telling the truth, then what else could she say? It was his life. He was entitled to make his own decisions.

"Good," he replied coolly.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I'm going to go," she announced.

"Good."

"Fine!"

Lorelai stood from the stool, shaking her head at the way he was behaving.

"What?" he demanded.

"You're being a jerk!"

"So be it," he shrugged.

"What is wrong with you, Luke?"

"I'm sick and tired of having to justify myself to you all the time. You're a customer, you buy my coffee, and then you go off and you have your own little life, and according to you, I just sit back and wait for you to come back and order another coffee. According to you, I am not allowed to have a life of my own that has nothing to do with you. I have news for you, Lorelai, I do have a life. I am going to get married and you don't have a say in it."

Lorelai felt the tears sting her eyes, but she held them back. "Are you done?"

He shrugged. "Oh, yeah, I'm done!"

Lorelai felt there was more to those words than the end of a conversation.

Luke turned his back on her again, and Lorelai left the diner.

_**I want to hit Luke for being mean, despite that I wrote him this way, sometimes it just comes out and you have no control over it… I never thought this chapter would come out like this… its harsh. I promise tho, a happy ending, because I believe in reading fairytales. Why read about horrid things you have to deal with in reality… that's NOT fun… =D **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Okay… so the w/end is over and here is the promised chapter. I am surprised I could muster the will to do anything today, I feel like I've been hit by a freight train, but you're not here to listen to my sob story, and a promise is a promise. Enjoy the chapter =D **_

Lorelai chose not to share her blow up with Luke, with her daughter, she wasn't ready for a conversation, so she said nothing, and when Rory suggested the diner for breakfast, their usual route to begin their day, Lorelai said nothing.

Rory was the one who pushed the door open, Lorelai dragging closely behind. She sat down in the nearest chair, causing Rory to stop and turn around.

"Why are you sitting here?" she questioned.

"I like it here," she answered.

"I want to sit at the counter, and talk to Luke."

"I want to sit here," Lorelai stated. Sitting at the counter wasn't an option, and if she was honest with herself she was hoping that Luke would send Caesar to take her order.

"Mom!" she asked looking annoyed. Lorelai wasn't usually this adamant about a table at Luke's, and she couldn't understand what the issue was. "What's with you?"

"I want to sit here," she snapped. "I should be able to sit wherever I want!"

"Okay," Rory relented.

"Good," Lorelai sighed heavily trying not to look over at the counter. It took every effort to keep her eyes everywhere but near Luke, but when she was sure he wasn't looking, she caught a glimpse of him. He looked tense. Lorelai couldn't help wondering if he was doing his best to ignore her, and that was why he was so tense, it was certainly possible.

"Mom, are you okay?" Rory asked noticing the look on her mother's face.

"Yeah," she forced a smile. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been weird ever since we got here," she stated matter-of-factly. Rory looked at Luke and then back to her mother. "Did you and Luke have a fight?"

"Why would we?" she questioned.

"You haven't even looked at him since we got here, and you wouldn't sit at the counter, where we always sit and you don't want to talk to Luke."

"Who said I didn't want to talk to Luke?"

"Do you want to talk t Luke?"

"No," she answered.

"See?"

"See, what, what am I seeing?"

"Mom?"

"I'm fine," she repeated.

Rory shrugged. "Okay."

Rory watched as Luke wandered over to the table, his eyes sorely focused on her. "Goodmorning. How are you, Rory?"

"I'm good, thanks Luke. How are you?"

"Good… good. What can I get for you?"

"Pancakes," she said.

"Is that all?"

"And coffee," she requested.

"Of course," he nodded. He didn't look at Lorelai, and kept his eyes focused on the notepad in his hand, and when a considerable amount of time had passed, he looked back at Rory. "Your order won't be long," he said and wandered back to the counter.

Lorelai scoffed. "He didn't even ask me what I wanted!"

"You didn't say anything," Rory said. "You sat there like a patato staring into your lap."

"He always asks me!" she pointed out.

"You are having a fight," Rory insisted.

"No, we're not… we're having… a disagreement!"

"About what?" Rory asked.

Lorelai hesitated.

"Mom, about what?" Rory folded her arms giving her mother that look of disapproval. Sometimes Rory was more mature than her mother, okay; most times she was more mature than her mother, unless it mattered.

"He's getting married!" she said quietly.

"That's great," Rory smiled. "Isn't it?"

"In six weeks!"

"So?"

"So, isn't it a little too soon?"

"I think that's up to Luke, don't you?"

"He barely knows her," she said.

Rory watched her mother for a moment. "Are you jealous?"

The words hit Lorelai like a freight train.

"I am-" Lorelai stopped talking when Luke approached the table. He lay down a plate of pancakes on the table in front of Rory, and then a coffee, he walked away.

Lorelai shook her head. "He's being so immature about this."

Rory concealed her smile. That was a pt calling the kettle black.

A moment later Luke returned to the table, with another cup of coffee, which he placed in front of Lorelai without looking at her, along with a second plate of pancakes and a Danish, which Luke knew Lorelai loved. He walked away without a word.

Tears filled her eyes as she looked down at her food and her coffee, but she kept them from leaving her eyes.

Rory just watched her mother.

_**Would you like another chapter? =D**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: I did promise after the w/end I would repost, and I have to apologize for not keeping that promise. I had a REALLY bad time and I didn't feel like doing anything, let alone writing. So I am sorry, and I hope this chapter makes up for it. =D**_

Lorelai was sipping on her coffee, at the counter, when she allowed her mouth to open and the words to fly. "I don't want you to get married…" she stated in a low voice, hoping not to draw attention from the other customers. She barely wanted Luke to hear her thoughts, let alone someone else.

"Why?" he asked not looking up from his task.

"Because it makes me uncomfortable," she said shifting on the stool.

He laughed. "Okay."

"It's not funny," she snapped. There was nothing funny about the way her stomach tied up in undoubting knots. There was nothing funny about the way she tossed and turned at night, begging sleep to claim her. There was nothing funny about the thoughts running non-stop in her head, confusing her about her own emotions and attachment to this man. No, it wasn't funny at all.

"Listen," he said adopting a serious tone, a warning pitch present. "You can't say anything about this. It's been three freakin' years and you jump from relationship to relationship never minding how that may affect me. So I won't even consider your feelings in this, got it?"

"So, it's more about paying me back for how I used to make you feel, than actually marrying her because you love her."

"I do love her," he said. He didn't sound convincing.

Lorelai pressed her lips together in a tight line, and shook her head in disbelief. He had made himself perfectly clear. "Fine," she announced standing up from the stool. She left her coffee unfinished and stormed out of the diner. Again.

Rory knew something was wrong the instant she walked through the door. Her face was sunken in, and her cheeks looked freshly tear-stained, her eyes puffy. But she didn't say anything to her mother, knowing she would only feel worse to draw attention to the situation. This was something Lorelai had to sort out for herself, without help.

She offered to order pizza for dinner, which Lorelai declined.

"I'm not hungry," she admitted.

Rory knew it was pretty serious if it meant that Lorelai wasn't going to eat. Eating was as much as breathing to the two Lorelai's.

"Mom…" she looked panicked. "Are you sure that… well, I mean… you have to eat!"

"I'm not hungry," she repeated.

"Mom?"

"I'm fine, Rory. I'm just not hungry!"

Rory was annoyed. Offering to go pick up the pizza, and get some fresh air, Rory stopped at the diner on her way home. Luke was locking up.

"I want to talk to you!" she stated.

"Rory," he stepped back suspicious on the expression on her face. He'd never seen Rory look so mad at him.

"What on earth is going on with you and my mother?" she demanded.

He shifted his gaze from her, looking extremely uncomfortable. "You know I respect you, Rory, but this has nothing to do with you, it's none of your business, and frankly, you should mind your own."

"It is my business," she stated. "My mother refuses to eat. She never refuses food. Whatever the issue is, you better make it better."

"I'm getting married," he stated.

"I know," she said.

"Your mother seems to think that she has a say in that, and that when I chose to get married it's up to her to decide what's quick or not."

Rory sighed. She could see Luke's frustration building up, and she understood it. It was his life and he couldn't pine away for her mother forever, as he had done for the past three years. "You know its not about that… don't you?"

"So what is it about then?" he asked.

"My mother loves you, Luke. Surely, you know that."

He stared at Rory like she had suddenly grown three heads. "I didn't… she… she does?"

Rory shook her head. "Men…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Luke. I know my mother more than you do. She doesn't know it yet, she's still processing, and in the meantime, she's jealous that you are marrying Alley and she's heartbroken. Go easy on her, my mom doesn't fall hard very often, and when she does, you know it."

"Yeah, okay…" he said seemingly stunned with the bombshell that had been dropped on him.

Rory turned to leave. "Oh, and Luke… please don't tell my mother I told you. She'd kill me."

"Sure, right… don't tell her."

"Thanks."

Rory left then and returned home with a large pizza and some snacks for the movie they'd sit down and watch, as Lorelai wallowed in self-pity. Lorelai was rugged up on the couch, when she walked through the door, with a book in her hands. Rory laid down everything on the kitchen table, hoping her mother would change her mind when she saw the editable items laid out in front of her. she slumped down on the couch, beside her mother, and looked down at the title of the book in her hands.

The Bell Jar!

Oh God, Rory thought, this was beyond bad.

_**A/N: I don't know if you all remember, but if you are die-hard fans I'm sure you will… Rory offered Lorelai the Bell Jar to read when she was fighting with Luke about him moving away and not telling her, the same ep with the church bell that wouldn't shut up… anyways I thought I'd add the book to make you realize how badly she is handling this. =D I think it was in character, but feel free to tell me if it wasn't. **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: I hope you are still enjoying this story… I pass the next one on… =D**_

Six weeks seemed to pass considerably quickly.

Lorelai was nervous as she rushed to the church. She hoped to God that she didn't attract too much attention. That morning she had decided not to go to the wedding at all, and then as she thought back to the friendship she had created with Luke over the course of so many years, it seemed important to be there, even if her chest was tight and her breathing an effort.

She slipped into the church, quietly, only distracting a few guests in the back row.

She mouthed an apology and took the first seat she could find. She looked around for Rory, who was seated in the front row, looking happy for Luke and Alley.

Alley stood up the front, standing beside Luke. Lorelai couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she interrupted the ceremony. Would she walk out heartbroken and embarrassed? She wasn't prepared to find out. But as the ceremony went on, Lorelai couldn't stop the thoughts in her head, telling her to say what she felt, telling her to be honest, begging her to spill her heart to the man standing up the front, dressed in a tuxedo.

When the words, "speak now or forever hold your peace" were uttered, Lorelai knew she had to do something.

She stood on her shaky legs, this time attempting to draw the crowd's attention… Luke's attention, and nothing happened. Nobody turned around to see her stand up, nobody muttered for her to take her seat. She opened her mouth and spoke. "I object!" she announced.

Nobody stopped.

"I said I object," she said louder.

Still the ceremony went on.

"LUKE!" she screamed.

He seemed deaf to only her, as he exchanged vows and kissed the bride-to-be.

"Luke," she began to sob knowing that he hadn't stopped even for a brief moment to consider the possibility of Lorelai.

Finally, the crowd appaulded. Everyone but Lorelai was doing her best to hide the tears behind her eyes. She watched as Luke and Alley walked down the aisle, their first walk as man and wife. Luke saw Lorelai in the crowd and frowned.

"What are you doing here?"

Lorelai forced herself to find a voice. "You're my friend," she said sadly.

"Whatever," he muttered walking away, Alley glued to his arm.

"Luke?" she called out. She didn't want to leave things that way. "LUKE?"

Her voice became like a chant. "Luke… Luke… Luke… Luke…"

She felt herself being pulled by gravity. Her eyes were heavy as she squeezed them shut, unable to look at the crowd anymore.

"Mom?" she heard Rory's voice and she opened her eyes searching the crowd frantically for her daughter. "Mom… wake up!"

Finally, the pull was too strong and Lorelai felt herself float through the air. Her eyes tightly shut.

"Mom…"

"Luke…" she muttered. "Don't go…"

Lorelai's shoulders shook and she snapped her eyes open to find herself in her bedroom. There was no church; she was not watching Luke marry Alley. "Luke," she muttered again.

"Mom…" Rory's face appeared in front of her.

"Rory?"

"Yes, mom. It's me. You were having a nightmare," she explained.

Lorelai sat up straight, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "A nightmare?"

Rory nodded.

"Luke didn't get married?"

"Not yet," she answered. "It's still six weeks away… mom, I think you need to tell Luke."

"Tell him what?" she asked dazed and confused.

"That you're in love with him and that you don't want him to marry Alley."

"I don't…" she began to deny it, but even she wasn't convincing herself. She dropped her head back down on the pillow, hitting the headboard with a bang. "Oww," she groaned sadly.

"Mom, do you-"

"I don't want to take Luke's happiness away," she told her daughter.

"I'm not sure you would be," she said honesty.

Lorelai didn't ask what her daughter meant by that.

_**A/N: Another dream, hey? I sure do like them, not to mention that Lorelai was a fan of dreams and their meanings. Anyways… I would love a review if you have the time… express your opinion… good or bad are welcome without judgment. =D**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Mmm, I think I like this chap. It says a lot about Lorelai's respect for Luke, and despite that things aren't working the way she wants them to, she still loves him this much… =D How much? Read on and find out!**_

Lorelai expected things to be awkward when she walked into the diner for her usual morning coffee. Nobody made coffee like Luke, and while she had to swallow her pride in order to walk into the diner, it seemed worth it for the taste of her obsession.

He spotted her straight away and crossed the floor to where she had picked a table by the window, as far away from the counter as possible. He stood before her, a notepad and pen in his hand, looking down at her and prepared to take her order.

"Hi," he greeted simply.

"Hi," she replied if only to be polite.

"So… what can I get for you besides coffee?"

"Um… I don't- er… French toast…"

"Coming up," he said. He turned to walk away.

"Luke?" her voice resembled that of a strangled cat – the complete opposite of what she was going for.

He stopped and looked back at her. "Yeah?"

"I want to come to the wedding…" she said.

"You do?" he frowned. Hadn't Rory said that she loved him, and didn't want him to get married at all? He was feeling closed-in by his own emotions regarding the coffee junkie. Now he was confused by her comment. But he tried not to show it. "Er… yeah, okay. Good. Good."

She nodded. "Good." As far as Lorelai was concerned, she was his friend first and foremost, and if that meant agreeing to sit in a church while he exchanged vows with some other woman that wasn't her, then so be it. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

"So you're coming…" he confirmed.

"I am," she stated.

"Alright," she forced a smile.

"Okay," the moment she had agreed to do so, she felt ill. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and she didn't understand why. She was doing the best she could. She was being happy for her friend, and she was making an effort to show him that. So why did it hurt so much?

She was too afraid to answer the question.

"I'm gonna go," she announced standing from the table.

"What about breakfast/"

"Can I have it to go?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll hurry it along."

"Okay," she said. She watched him walk away, and couldn't help noticing how miserable she looked. If he was getting married and his fiancée was happy, then why wasn't he? Did Luke harbor feelings for him like everyone said he did? And if that was true, then why was he going through with the wedding.

Rory's words pounded like a hammer against her head. _You're in love with him and you don't want him to marry Alley._ Was her daughter right?

Lorelai sighed heavily as she waited for her breakfast, and when he returned a few minutes later, it was on the tip of her tongue to say something. He handed her the food. "It's on the house," he offered with a weak smile.

"Oh, thanks Luke."

He turned to walk away, and her mouth opened before she had a chance to stop it. "Don't!" she stated.

"What?"

Lorelai stared at him, surprised by the word herself, but she didn't want to take it back. She had come this far, said this much, all she had to do was finish her sentence…

_**I am mean enough to leave you on a cliff-hanger. Is she going to chicken out?**_

_**Reviews are appreciated! =D**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: I do thank each and every one of you that are reading, reviewing and alerting. Thank you. I hope it's not a disappointment. =D And a special thank you to **_"I think ur superman"_** because they don't have a PM that I can get to… thank you for your encouragement. =D**_

Luke stared at her.

"Don't, what?" he asked.

She was at a loss for words. "Don't… forget that I'm coming to the wedding," she finished. _Good one, Lorelai that was the smartest thing you've ever said. _She silently scolded herself for being so scared.

"I won't," he nodded. Was that disappointment that crossed his face?

Lorelai rose from the chair and headed for the door. As she pulled it open and entered the cold morning air, letting the door close behind her, she felt foolish. She was a grown woman and she could express her feelings, she just had to take the plunge. Before she changed her mind, she turned back and pushed the door open again, hurrying across the floor and calling out to Luke, who was now back behind the counter.

"Luke!" she screamed.

He snapped his head up, surprised to see her back so fast. "What?"

"I don't want you to get married!" she announced. Lorelai ignored each pair of eyes that stopped eating and looked up at the scene taking place, she ignored the gasps of surprise from each customers, she ignored the gnawing in her stomach that told her this was only going to end badly.

"Wha- what are you doing?"

"I don't want you to get married," she repeated.

"You said that," he said looking annoyed.

She approached the counter, and leaned her body across, so she didn't have to be so loud and every customer had to strain to overhear her.

"Don't get married," she pleaded quietly.

"Why not?"

"Alley can't make you happy," she said. "You are a moody, work-a-holic who has no time for anything but fishing and me… I take up a lot of your time. I'm demanding. I'm sarcastic. I can be selfish when I ask you to put my coffee needs above everything else, because I need a fix. And you do, Luke. You put me ahead, and I have to believe that it's because I'm important to you. Because if I don't have that, then I got nothing… and I need you," she finished.

There was a long pause.

"So you want me to call off my wedding because you need my attention."

"No," she smiled. "I want you to call off your wedding because I love you, I mean- I… I love you and I don't want to watch you marry someone else. But if you think that Alley can make you happier than I can then I'll put on a brave face and I'll sit in the front vow and clap hands and act happy that you have what you want… but if I can make you happy, then give me a chance… give us a chance."

Luke said nothing.

"Say something," she said nervously.

"I don't know… I don't- I should probably get back to…" he looked unsure, nervous even.

"Okay," she nodded. She'd lost. Holding onto her pride, she pulled back from the counter, and took a step back. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah," he said.

Lorelai didn't look back as she exited the diner, and she kept her tears hidden until she reached her jeep, and once she was safely inside, she burst into tears, sobbing as she clung to the steering wheel. So much for all the theories on his hidden feelings for her, as far as she could tell he couldn't get away from her fast enough.

_**I know… it seems like all I know is angst. But I do sincerely promise you a happy ending. The next one is from Luke's point of view… =D**_

_**Leave a review if you like… =D**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: Hey guys… this is the final chapter. I appreciate those that stuck with it, and reviewed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Enjoy the wrap up and I am certain this won't be the last you hear from me! =D**_

Lorelai dragged herself to the door, when she heard someone knocking. She would have liked to leave it alone, and mend her broken heart, the way she wanted to, by sitting in front of the TV and watching sappy movies with happy-endings. But she was afraid that someone important would call, and she was never the type to ignore the door.

It took effort to reach the front door, and even more so to open it.

But she stood trembling when the door swung open, and Luke Danes stood on the other side.

Without a single word, he grabbed at the fabric of her shirt, pulling her tightly against him, his arms around her shoulders, closing her in, and making it impossible for her to leave, not that she could have mustered the will to go anywhere. He looked into her eyes, her soft blue, teary eyes, before he softly shook his head and made his move. His lips pressed against hers, ever so softly, saying nothing, like their long-term friendship had always seemed to be. Words weren't always needed, but a kiss this powerful could move mountains.

Finally, both breathless, they withdrew for air.

"What are you doing?" she managed to mutter.

"What I should have done a long time ago," he stated grumpily. "I called off my wedding."

She couldn't help but smile. "You did?"

"Yes," he snapped. "Of course I did. Geez, Lorelai did you really think that I was just going to get married to Alley after all you said. I love you, damn it. I've loved you for a bloody long time, and you suck at timing, you really do. But I couldn't let you go… so…"

"So?" she sighed heavily her mouth eager to meet his over and over.

"So, damn it, woman… let me take you up to that bedroom of yours and-"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Just like that?" he asked surprised at her agreeing so quickly.

"Believe it or not, I have waited just as long as you for this… stop wasting time," she teased. "Do you want me, or don't you."

Luke scooped her up, cradling her in his arms like a baby and he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom. "Oh, I want you," he assured her. "Forever… and some."

"Good," she smiled kissing him as they made their way to the king-size bed in the room upstairs.

_**A/N: I always had issues with "the dirty deed" scenes, so you are just going to have to use your imagination here, and now that it's exactly what I intended. I'm sorry it was short, but I hope it wasn't a disappointment at least. =D**_


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